Mr. Right and Steve

Hey there,

today, some wishes of me. Just imagine, everything around you would stop, everything would be quiet. Only you are moving and only you are making a sound. I could think and think... and no one whould ask me "Oh, what are you doing" or something. The next thing is teleporting. I can warp me and other persons by touching them to other places. I would warp me and a girl I know to Japan. We lay in the grass, look at the clouds and listen to the river and the birds. It bothers me, that I'm not able to do something. Not that teleporing stuff. I can't change what, who, and how I am. I can not be a girl or a guy. Im just this... weid man-woman-thing. I want to know what and who I am, live in Japan and have a girlfriend. But I can't. I can't kiss the people I love, I can't hit the people I hate. I can't change, who and what I am, I can't play what I want. I sit here in boring Germany, bored of being, not able to change anything...

Just a little noise...

Lately I realised, that I'm increasingly in my own world. Ever time I have dinner with my parents, their talks are just a little noise and in my thoughts I sit in a big, black room and play drums, or I sit in a big white room an play piano, while a double of me dances. Or I sit on the railing of a balcony and listen to metal or other music. The same thing in the school. Especially in maths. The teacher tells the claas and me something about geometry and in my head I hum the melody of a song I like. Mostly I think about my paranoia and my schizophrenia. It sucks, when I should solve the next task in this moment. I wrote this, because I was and still am bored of being a guy and a human. I'm dreaming 'bout the good ol times. I need to forgive and forget. (<- that is a puzzle) See 'ya in hell ~Niklas